somehow i wish i were woman
so that, sitting by your side,
you would not be angered
and accept my longing gaze
as sisterhood
and find solace in my words
and gentle gestures
that older women sometimes give
as mother's heirloom

then you might feel pretty
in my arms, not scared
or timid
and we may grow together
despite the strangling shades
of other people's worlds

somehow i wish i were woman
so that, my strong feelings
that rush from me towards you
are not diseased, yellow rivers
choked with disappointments
but a quiet oasis
with cool waters despite
the burning sun
and wide, generous leaves
that wall off deserts beyond

then you may feel at ease
to play with me again
like those old days
lost in wavering grass
now found again
here
like a dream
a trick of light
bizarre ecstasy

somehow i wish i were woman
but finding i am not
sit saddened and curse the fates
that you are there and I am here
separate and alone
though each with riches
of experience
gold to be buried
and dissolved in mud